i want to paint my face and pretend that i am someone else. sometimes i get so fed up, i don't even want to look at myself but people have problems that are worse than mine. i don't want you to think i'm complaining all the time and i hate the way you look at me. i have to say, i wish I could start over. i am slowly falling apart. i wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start, you might think it's easy being me. you just stand still, look pretty. sometimes i find myself shaking in the middle of the night and then it hits me and i can't even believe this is my life. but people have problems that are worse than mine. i don't want you to think i'm complaining all the time and i wish that everyone would go and shut their mouths. i'm not strong enough to deal with it.